Getting Help and Medications

Today DH and I went to talk to our therapist who has been helping us cope and work through all the issues with our OSD and YSD.  She’s really great, very empathetic and also informative.  She’s the one that was explaining that even though I’ve been through therapy for ACOA and other issues years ago,  each time I get to a new life stage I may have to readdress all of them.

She’s definitely right on in terms of YSD who is neglectful toward her son.  It was driving me insane with rage and it’s at the point that I can barely stand to look at her or talk to her.  When TLG comes looking for me, I’ll stop what I’m doing to play with him.  The therapist said we should document when YSD neglects TLG and I’ve been doing that all along.  There’s an agency related to Child Protective Services that can do an intervention and work with her on parenting skills.

We need that because she doesn’t want any of us telling her how to live her life.  She wants to do what she wants to do and the hell with the rest of us.  She’s manipulative and a pathological liar.  It’s very hard not to just toss her out and she knows she has (or used to have) the upper hand because of TLG.  But now we have Plan B.

Why is she the way she is?  It’s probably a combination of things that happened to her and a poor role model.  DH was working 3 jobs and wasn’t around much and his first wife wasn’t such a great mom.  In fact, I’ve been told YSD and her mom could be twins.  And what happened to the mom?  She was sexually abused as a child, neglected and abandoned too.  YSD was sexually abused, too, at a very young age and a lot of her issues stem from that, I’m sure.  I felt for her and wanted to help her, gave her books and advice from my experience … She always says “I’ll think about it” and then does exactly as she pleases.

How can you not be on time to pick up your child from the very first day of school?  How can you not respond to his ear pain and give him relief?  How can you place him–a child with special needs–in front of a TV because you’re too “lazy” to play with him?  Lazy–that’s the word she used, not me, and boy, I nearly went through the roof that day.

When you have a child, your life and your world change dramatically.  It’s no longer what you want first and at what ever cost, the child comes first…except to her.  She has to be “fair” to herself after all.  Give me a break! And so she’ll go off without a word, many times without asking any of us to keep an eye on her child, and she’ll disappear for hours.  We feed him, bathe him, and play with him, wondering…where is she and when is she coming back?  No more!  Next time it happens, I’m calling that agency!

If you don’t work hard to break the abuse cycle, it just goes on and on.  I am not a model mom but I remember clearly that I did NOT want to be like mine and so when I had my babies I went out and bought a book called <u>The ACOA Guide To Healthy Parenting </u> and it helped a lot.  I think my kids are only half as screwed up as me and hopefully my grandchildren won’t be screwed up at all…the ones DS, DOD and DYD have anyway.

Unfortunately, my grandkids in another state (OSD’s kids) are messed up.  I keep telling her to make sure those kids get counseling but she seems to think they’re just fine.  Sure they are.  I know better!

With all of this stress going on, it’s no wonder I’m on antidepressants (two), anti-anxiety and sleep aid meds.  I’ve just found out that I’m bipolar so I’m taking a mood stabilizer too.  Being bipolar…I’m not terribly surprised, it explains a lot…but I’m about as thrilled about it as I was to learn I have diabetes.  Anyway, after the news about Heath Ledger came out today I looked up all my meds to see how they interact with each other.

I’m about scared out of my wits.

Is it that the benefits of these drugs outweigh the risks and that’s why doctors prescribe them so easily?  I know the doctors didn’t tell me about all these side effects and interactions…but that was my responsibility to ask, wasn’t it?  Now I’m going to be asking!  I think I’d rather suffer with anxiety attacks and insomnia than worry about going to sleep and not waking up again because of the way my prescribed drugs interact. How many times does this sort of thing happen and we just don’t know because we aren’t famous like Heath Ledger or Anna Nicole Smith?

~ by lostkitty on February 7, 2008.